Twenty six (and then some).
The number of miles in the Spartan Ultra Beast.
The number of insane, physically and mentally challenging obstacles on the course.
Eight thousand (ish …..and then some).
The number of feet of elevation gain over the course of the race (based on last years Beast reports)
The number of days left until I tackle all of the above.
It’s funny with all that I have going on in my life, this is what I’m focusing on. Some might call it dedication, most might call me insane, or highly messed up in the priority department. The truth is I’m just one of those crazy athletes who likes to deflect reality into athletics, turn mental anguish into physical pain. Hey, it works.
Twenty three days.
When I begged Spartan Race to let me into the Ultra Beast back in May, I saw a summer full of hardcore, bada$$ training. True beast mode, leaving me in the most amazing shape of my life, ready to show up to the start line and dominate that course. Of course, life never works out the way you plan it to (which is certainly part of the appeal) and now I find myself just over three weeks out from the race and totally panicking.
I’m finally on the road to recovery from this horrible cold/bronchitis/tonsillitis/evil virus. Got in a 4 mile run, a 6 mile run, and a 13 ish mile bike ride over the last three days. And they all felt good, but for once in my life, I’m terrified to push. I’m terrified to burpee and push up and sprint and carry heavy things up large hills. I miss the hurt but I’m scared of what it might bring. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to boo-hoo or feel sorry for myself. I just don’t want to go back there. Being physically active is part of my soul, it’s who I am , it’s what I do. NOT being able to do these things is what breaks me mentally.
And frankly, I’m kind of terrified of this race. Physically it will be my toughest challenge ever. Mentally, however: not even close.
And so, now is the time to remember why I’m doing this race in the first place.
Because I can.
Because despite a stupid, random virus, I am healthy. I am strong. And even though because of this temporary setback,10 burpees might leave me on the floor right now, mentally I am a beast.
I have three weeks left to get a little bit of a physical boost. I have an amazing support system that will be by my side that weekend: an awesome boyfriend who supports my ridiculousness & believes in me (and is equally as crazy as I am, so he gets it) and a BFF (RPIC) who quite literally will slap me if I try to quit. And the entire Spartan family out on that course, which I’ve realized really quickly over the last few months will always be there to help lift me up over a wall…be it a physical one or an emotional one.
I will NOT quit. At life, at this race, any of it.
Twenty three days.
Onward and upward….