You have brought me to the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. You have given me wonderful new relationships, and utterly destroyed others, leaving bridges burning in the wake. Some days I hate you, but most days I can’t live without you. The ridiculous love affair I’ve had with you is what brought about this blog in the first place. You constantly tease me, you mock me, you bring me to my sore knees. You clean out my bank account, your gear clutters my closet (who am I kidding, this entire apartment), your alarm clock interrupts my sleep, your miles occupy all of my free time.
Yet you have brought me so many amazing memories…races, PR’s, runner’s highs…but mainly experiences and emotions that words simply cannot express. You have made me healthier, slimmer, faster, stronger, and more confident. You continuously teach me about patience, about what it really means to endure, and how to “embrace the suck”. You show me over and over that I am truly stronger than I ever imagined…that nothing is impossible if I want it bad enough.
But like any relationship, we have our ups and downs. There have been times that I have strayed from you for weeks…sometimes even months at a time. Moments where I was so frustrated with the schedules laid out in front of me, the lack of gains, and the seemingly impossible goals that I turned my back on you.
But each time I come crawling back, you and I are better than ever.
And so I’m keeping this all in mind as Geoff and I train for what will be the biggest running event (distance wise) of either of our running careers: Peak Races 50 miler in Pittsfield, Vermont. Not just any ultra marathon, but 50 miles through the rugged, demanding Green Mountains. I’ve registered for an ultra once before, but things just didn’t work out. Life gets the best of me sometimes. But this time the difference is blatantly clear, I can feel it. During today’s painful 10 miler through the unpacked snowy trails, you and I were so synchronized that I easily fell into the “zone”. As you pushed me faster (and I loved every second of it) I just KNEW you could feel the difference this time too.
As I stand here staring at the ridiculous poster sized calendar that takes up an entire wall in our apartment, meticulously filled out with 21 weeks worth of training, over 870 miles worth of training, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Running, you intimidate the hell out of me…yet I can’t stay away.
Good, bad, painful…thanks for all that you do.