Last night while leaving work, I bumped into some friends who were just finishing up their run. This is indeed one of the many perks of working in a running store. While discussing the upcoming Knock on Wood 100 (we’ve got a group of nearly 20 locals heading up to Greenville for the 50K & 100 miler), my friend Michael asked when we were leaving, and how long it would take to get there.
“Four to five hours, depending on traffic, probably…” I started to reply
Before I could even finish the thought, Michael interrupted and moved on to the next question.
“…and are you brining crazy?” he asked, while making a circular motion around my face.
I paused for a minute, unsure of what he was asking. He made the hand motion around my face again, and it suddenly clicked.
“Ohhh…you mean me.”
It’s true, I lost my shit before Hallucination. A combination of taper, which is never very fun, helping coach a team through their peak week of their very first marathon training program, PMSing (hey, it’s a reality female runners have to face), and a bunch of unnecessary pressure I put on myself to do well in this “training” race turned me into a less than desirable person to be around. Believe me, I even felt that way about myself. I was awful, and let me reiterate, that was just a TRAINING race.
Knock on Wood 100, on the other hand, is my “A” race. So it’s no wonder that the people closest to me are starting to tiptoe around me, wondering when the bear is going to show up, and how they can avoid provoking her.
We’re still 15 days out, but so far, I’m not nervous. I’m not even excited yet, though I’m sure both will come in due time. Right now, I’m just tired, and I’m ready for this to be over. It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed training for this 100 mile race, I truly have. I’ve learned a lot about myself, both as a runner and a person in general. I’ve enjoyed my time on the trails, both alone and with friends. I’ve taken pride in the accomplishments I’ve made along the way.
But I miss my husband. He’s wildly supportive of everything I do, but in order to train around kids/work/life, I have to run at very odd hours of the day. Early. Late. During our lunch break together. Almost all of the time we spend together is when we are asleep, and that kind of sucks.
And let’s talk about how my house is a mess. It’s no secret, I’ve never been a queen of domestic…anything, but it’s even worse now. My laundry, which I’m making a ton of because I’m always running, will never be caught up. Or folded…or put away. I’ve got shoes everywhere, and charging cords everywhere, and hats and headbands and hair ties absolutely everywhere. I’m pretty sure Geoff wants to just throw out everything I own. At this point, I’m not sure I would even notice (except for my trail shoes, that is).
This blog? HA! I’ve got an inbox full of people wondering where the hell I’ve disappeared off too, and I’m pretty sure I’ve been removed from most PR groups lists of “reliable bloggers”, and instead added to the “do not work with” lists.
I can tell you right now, without even having finished yet, that this will not be my last 100 (sorry Geoff). There is too much that I love about the whole process, too many reasons left to keep pushing well beyond my comfort zone, reasons that I’m still not even exactly sure of myself. That said, I’m definitely taking a long break after this race, taking time to get my life back together.
But do you know what? Despite the chaos, it’s all been worth it. So no, as far as I can tell, “crazy” isn’t coming to Greenville.
“Ready” is. Let’s get this show on the road.