Yesterday, it rained. It rained so hard and for so long, I was beginning to wonder if I’d be able to get a swim workout in my front yard. But instead of braving the depths of the new temporary front lawn pool, I drug out the trainer and my bike, and decided to get a nice long ride in from the comfort of my living room.
Ha. I was so proud of myself for having googled the manual to my Schwinn bike computer and recalibrating it that I was ready to watch the miles tick by. And tick by they did! I expected my 17 mile ride to take about an hour and a half. I rode steadily, changing gears and resistance up back and forth to get my heart rate pumping, but overall it wasn’t a crazy intense ride. Two episodes of Billy (two alligators, one snake, a dead opossum, crazed fireplace squirrel, and some fire ants) and only one interruption for a sippy cup refill later, I hit the 17 mile mark. Phew!
From their site, the FAQ:
What is “monkey butt”?
It’s a term used by motorcycle riders to describe the soreness, itching and redness that occurs when you ride and sweat on a motorcycle for hours. If you have to walk bowlegged like a monkey to prevent your skin from rubbing, you have Monkey Butt!
Who gets it?
Anyone who works hard and plays hard – who participates in any activity that causes frictional skin irritation.
How can I prevent it?
Use Anti Monkey Butt Powder. The powder contains talc or cornstarch which absorbs moisture. The calamine is an anti-itch and anti-chafing powder that soothes irritated skin, leaving you dry and comfortable
“Lady Anti Monkey Butt is specially formulated with patented satiny smooth powder to minimize the frictional discomfort that women often experience when using exercise equipment, running, driving, cycling or just walking. Its unique ingredients work quickly to absorb sweat and provide cooling effective relief of irritation on the inner thighs and other areas of the skin prone to rubbing. “
As soon as I opened it, I had flashbacks to my days spent barhopping. You know when you go into a night club bar bathroom with the restroom attendant who has stocked the counter head to toe with beauty products, yet the bathroom still has that distinct fake flower talcum powder smell? Yup, that’s the Lady Anti Monkey Butt. It wasn’t horrible or anything, in fact it was a light smell, but it was there none the less. I figured it’s going to touch my sweaty thighs, so really, what difference does the smell make, right? The powder had a very light, soft, non greasy feel, and long story short, I didn’t receive any sort of monkey butt on my 17 km (not mile) ride. No chaffing, and no swamp butt. Gotta love that!
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