Winter makes me anxious.
This of course, is nothing new. I remember imposing a self diagnosis of seasonal affective disorder at the ripe young age of 10. The self prescribed remedy was laying in the warm sunny patch on the living room floor mid afternoon, day dreaming of being on a beach. Sure sledding was fun, and who doesn’t like the brutal recess competition known as “king of the hill”. But there has always been something about the winter…no matter how hard I try to avoid it, the cold and dark months just suck the life out of me.
This winter appears to be no exception.
We’ve been trying really hard to enjoy this weather. Brutal long runs on unpacked snowy trail. I’m making a half a$$ed attempt to be able to say that one of my winter hobbies is snowshoeing. Trying. It’s so hard to enjoy the cold and dark when you daydream of the long summer days spent frolicking in the woods under the warm sun. I yearn for sweaty trail runs, peaceful kayak trips, and brutal mountain hikes again. I admit to harbouring a bit of jealousy towards my New England counterparts who seem to jump at every possible opportunity to throw on some snowpants and ski goggles and run around outdoors. But this girl, who spent the last ten years in “oh my gosh it’s dropped below 50 degrees, let’s all break out our winter coats and complain about the cold” sunny coastal South Carolina, combined with a guy who spent the last handful of years in Reno, NV (where apparently it does snow but the sun is ALWAYS out. ALWAYS. And there are tumbleweeds.) usually end their day in the gym. I really hate being cold.
I can’t help but wonder if humans, like their furry creature counterparts, have some instinctual desire to hibernate all winter. Or at least fly South like the geese.
(side note: as I sit here typing this post, the snow started falling. Again. It sure is pretty….I just wish it was 40 degrees warmer.)
But since there is work to go to, and bills to pay, and I sort of would rather eat all winter instead of thrive off of a stash of nuts and berries… hibernation is not a viable option. Flying South for winter? That won’t happen until this October.
So the name of the game for my winter survival seems to be routine. Run in the morning. Work during the day. Lift at night. Plenty of sleep. Plenty of water. Clean eating, healthy foods. And my vitamins. Day in, day out. If I do not stray from the routine, I seem to hang on by the skin of my teeth (I never understood that saying either). If I stray from routine? Forettabout it. I’m a hot mess. Like this past week…it started with a killer leg routine that left me immobile for a few days (which sounds great, except for when you then discover you can’t run the next 3 days, because it hurt soo much). Next,
hurricane blizzard “Nemo” came ripping through town. My gym hours were cut. The desire to stock up on liquor and pizza “just in case” was too great. I ran a total of 3 miles all week, and ate enough junk food for someone running 100 miles. My mental state quickly deteriorated, and I had a mini breakdown. About life, about the past, about everything I’ve done wrong, and not all of the wonderful, good things I’ve been blessed with. I quickly fell behind on my social media work (yeah, no bada$$ moms today, sorry).
I felt helpless, hopeless, and pretty useless. I threw my tempertantrum and then…I got over it.
Why am I telling you all of this? Not so you can realize what a nutcase I really am (kidding…maybe.)
No, I’m sharing all of this to show you: EVERYONE has their bad days, weeks, months. I see friends on facebook (and in real life) struggle, and I just want to reach out and say, “you aren’t alone.” EVERYONE, even us fitness professionals, can not be perfect all of the time. Be it in your fitness routine, your diet, or just your self esteem: we all hit bumps in the road. So what can you do? Pick yourself up, keep moving forward, make the best of what you have.
Relentless forward motion. The winter months won’t last forever, and neither will any funk you found yourself in (also a note to self). So start fresh, and take advantage of every new day, for it is another chance to do great things.
Here’s your motivational post for the day. Make today ridiculously amazing, my friends. And don’t ever doubt your awesomeness.
I’ve been there too.