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”If you are not faithful with your time, your life can spin out of control. You get sucked into distraction. Your life gets stuck in an unproductive cycle that destroys your confidence and eventually leads to depression.” -Dani Johnson
Have you ever read a quote and thought to yourself “my goodness I NEEDED to read that today!” This was one of them for me. You called me out Dani. Thanks. No really, thank you. This quote, it made my day.
I’m not one to ever mislead or lie to my readers, or sensor my blog to keep it all upbeat all the time. Unlike Laguna Beach (anyone else miss that show?) my blog is reality, 100% of the time. It sucks to have to (wo)man up and admit this, but at the same time, I feel, or at least secretly hope, that sometimes my slack-a$$ness CAN be motivating in a way…because it shows that YES, we are ALL HUMAN. We all have our ups and downs. And sometimes, my super-mom cape has to come off and go into the washing machine…where it gets lost for a little while. You know, with the half-pairs of socks. So to all of you who have written lately asking “how goes it?” “got any insanity updates?” or simply “where did you go?” here’s the truth:
I’m in a funk. I have not been faithful to my workout time. There I said it. I have NOT been leading by example. I’ve been LAZY. Ok, it could certainly be worse, but by Heather standards: L-A-Z-Y! Ready for my sob story? Here goes.
I think I have reverse cabin fever. For real. I bet you people who grew up with traditional snowy, icy, cabin fever, like we in the Vermont-where-it-snows-for-6-months-straight-tundra experienced, are laughing at me right now. But I swear I have summer time cabin fever. When the heat index is 110 degrees most days, and you have a 2 and 4 year old, getting outdoors hardly happens like it should. We run and huddle in the air conditioning in the same way you would run to the indoors in the North East to avoid the “my nose froze shut with one breath” feeling. Either way, my exposure to direct sunlight is lacking, and so I totally think it’s feasible for seasonal affective disorder to affect you in the summer, as odd and ironic as it sounds.
Next up: (this is a two part sob-story, first the “boo” now the “hoo”) summer in our home means I become a widow to the service industry. Yes, tourists FUEL this town, and Rich happens to work in management at THE BUSIEST restaurant in town. In other words, the poor dude goes to work at 3 pm and gets back home at 3 am. With his still mysterious (yeah, I don’t even know what to say) chronic pain, he sleeps it off, and goes back in to do it all over the next day. Needless to say, we hardly see him. I’m not complaining, don’t get me wrong. I know how it works down here, and I’m thankful he is able to provide for us. It’s what needs to be done right now and I understand that…but I’m not saying being solely responsible for the kids and house practically 24/7 is easy either (especially when you suck at housekeeping as much as I do. I swear the house and lawn are both out to get me). By the time I get the rug rats down for the night (you think cabin fever is bad for adults…you should see two little ones who don’t comprehend that 105 degrees is not FUN), I finally am able to catch up on housework and then have a little time to myself, and before I know it…I’m OVERLY enjoying my time to myself (aka mind numbing internet and reality TV time) and then it’s 2:00 am. I’ve been so tired. Workouts haven’t happened (other than the T/THclasses I teach, fit club, and kids running. I’m laughing at myself reading this, haha. But I swear, it’s like a 75% decrease in normal Heather activity)
|wise hoodie speaks the truth|
Do I sound like one of the people I yell motivational quotes at from the rooftops at yet? QUIT WITH THE EXCUSES!
So… I’ve fallen into a funk. Jumped off the bandwagon. Hit a speed bump. Whatever you want to call it. Depressed without my endorphins, but without my endorphins, I’m lacking motivation to do much of anything. Oh, oh, except: emotional eating. Big fat CHECK there. Yes, I do it too. And it ain’t pretty, especially considering I know better. My waist line, and those awesome abs Insanity WAS building have disappeared.
Today at the fitness class I teach, I found myself seriously out of breath. That’s when it hit me like a punch in the already screaming abs. What am I DOING to myself?
It took me about 29 years (yeah, the lightbulb moment was recent) to make the realization that there are three very important components that keep me on an even keel: my faith in God, my family/friends, and my fitness. The three F’s, haha. When one of the 3F’s is off balance, I turn into a hot mess. And sometimes, like in the summer when the “family” part is off balance, I need to use the other two “F’s” to fill the void. And unfortunately, I haven’t turned to either one.
And thus, it’s time to deploy the final F’s….”Forget the past and Full speed ahead”
See? It happens to the best of us. It’s not the situations we are faced with , but the way we choose to handle them that really matters. I know there’s a famous quote for that somewhere, but google and my brain are failing me. Regardless, you get the idea. I truly believe we are responsible for our own happiness. And it’s time I snap out of it and take charge.
Thanks for bearing with me folks
Happy (I will be) Running (soon) ! !