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I know you are all anxiously awaiting the Super Spartan Race report. But an epic race like that deserves an epic post, and I can not do it justice without pictures. So while I am still gathering them, you have to wait (sorry!) But know that it was AWESOME, I would do it again without second thought, and other than a really sore quad , and bruises & scratches covering more than half of my body, I survived unscathed !
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| back of the medal, AROO! |
The Spartan race made me realize something about myself. Something others have been pointing out for a while, and something I knew deep down inside, may have hinted at a few times, but I guess I didn’t want to full out admit. My running, and specifically triathlon, suffers because I’m entirely too competitive with myself. I *expect* myself to be GOOD at whatever I do. Therefore, if something is a challenge, something I might not conquer, I shy away. Hence the reason I don’t want to go to the group rides or swims…because I fear not being able to keep up and that embarrasses me (and makes me a huge hypocrite since I tell others to never worry about that). Heck, hence the reason my beautiful Kestrel is collecting dust in the corner and I couldn’t even tell you where my swim goggles are.
A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a fellow tri-mom on my face book wall about how I really just don’t think I like cycling. It’s not for me. Later that night, I got a long message from a very well meaning friend who basically told me , in nicer terms, that I need to get over my “must-do-everything-now” mindset and realize everyone has to start from the bottom. Most people don’t enter the world of triathlon saying “Hey, I’m new here, let’s do a 140.6” I don’t HAVE to get out there and keep up with the 22+ mph group. And quite frankly, it’s pretty stupid of me to believe I’m above starting at the bottom. Basically, buck up and get out there. (Thank you Bob!)
What does this have to do with the Spartan race? Everything. Hope and I, well, we really didn’t *train* per-se for this race, haha. I mean, I had been doing Insanity (thank GOODNESS, because I wound up doing 80 burpees over the 8 mile course) but other than a few runs here and there, no training. So we toed that start line with ONE goal: Finish. And finishing was not optional, we WILL do it. So we ran when we ran, jogged when we jogged, walked when we walked (like through the rivers ) and caught our breath after obstacles, even chatting with the volunteers. Whatever, we were there for fun. It took us 2 hours and 33 minutes to finish that 8 mile course. We certainly didn’t come in last, but we didn’t come in even close to first either.
And for ONCE…I didn’t care. At ALL. That competitive voice in my head never once reared her ugly head. OK maaayyybe a few times when we were coming up on someone in front of us on the trail, I would speed up to pass them, haha. But for the most part, it was all about fun and finishing. Could I have gone closer to 2 hours? Of course. Would I have enjoyed it as much? NOPE! (to give you an idea, the winner of the race was just over 1 hour, the female winner was 1:33) But out there without a Garmin, clocks, or mile markers, I was free. I forgot how much I love to run. Especially trails. Mountain Goats must be really happy creatures. I forgot how much FUN I have when I run for *me* and not for finishing times I think people (my crazy competitive self included) will think are *decent*.
So what I need to do is take this mindset and carry it on over to training for my very first 70.3 , Revolution3, here in South Carolina, October 9th. Yes, I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that has caused me to put off training. But more than anything, I admit here and now, I’ve put off training because I AM SCARED. Scared that I’m going to suck at riding. Swimming. Putting it all together. Yeah yeah, crazy I know. But there is a REASON I dream of finishing a 140.6. And that reason is my own, not for anyone else. So why am I letting my fear of what others think of my training and performance get in the way of that dream?
WHO CARES if I’m the last one out of the water, or the slowest one on the bike. You know I’ll pass some people on the run, haha. But quite honestly, why take on such a challenge if I’m doing it for anyone but myself, and even more so, why take on such a challenge if I’m not going to have fun?
Bottom line is, I will be MORE upset with myself for passing up this opportunity than I will be with myself if I’m the very LAST person to cross the finish line. I am registered for the Half Rev and I WILL finish it.
Perhaps the flames were a little high when I jumped that first fire pit (uphill no less) at the Spartan Race, because it seems to have finally lit the fire under my butt that I needed. 104 days. 15 weeks. Quit saying, start DOING. I’ve got this.
Now, where are my goggles? And who has a 15 week training plan?
Rose @ Eat, Drink, and Be Meiri says
This really hit home, because it’s something that I struggle with. The “if I can’t be in the top I’ll just not put forth the effort” thing. If you figure out an easy solutions, please let us know. hahahha.
I love the spartan medal. I can’t wait to see the pictures.
Amber says
I was the last one out of the water my first Olympic tri last summer. I ended up finishing second to last but I still finished. I’m ALWAYS in the way back during marathons and I doesn’t bother me much. I just go out there and focus on what I am capable of doing in that particular moment. That doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes cry and have to walk my bike up hills sometimes… like this weekend 🙂
Hope Epton says
Well girlie, finishing was always assumed, I was quite appalled when someone hinted that there was an option not to! Anyway, being competitive is good, but never let it hold you back, because you can never succeed at something you never tried, period. I know I will likely never finish first, I am not a fast runner, or swimmer and usually almost fall off my bike at least once every time I am on it – but still getting out and doing it is my goal. When it comes to the Super Spartan Race – I had a blast, and at times I know you could have left me behind, but we did it together… those walls were a B!%*@ (amongst other things) almost as hard as finding a Taco Bell… but just as rewarding…lol So here is to US for doing it, because we are just crazy enough to not just TRY but DO! ARRROOOOO!!!
LB says
OMG, i could have written this same post. i often dont do things because i am scared i will not do well. i know i will finish, but for some reason i feel like i need to be competitive and place well and have great finish times. its ridiculous! im a middle of the packer who occasionally wins her age group (at small races lol!) i should be enjoying the journey, not the outcome!
Holly says
I’ve got a 16-week 70.3n that you can modify Sister. I’ll email,it to you today. OH and PROUD of you for looking deep and remembering that its not about “when” you finish but “that you finished”… LOVE YOU!
Samantha says
I can’t wait for the pictures!! I would be scared of a triathlon too, but look how many supportive people you have in the blogger world 🙂 You can do it!
Alex says
You ROCK! This is exactly right on and as a true back of the pack person, I needed this reminder. My first half goal was to finish and I did, in over 4 hours, but done. With my second half 2 weeks away, I thought I should set a loftier goal, but I believe that if it is under my time from April, even by a minute, AND I finish I have succeeded. Oct. 9 is my full, and that one, my goal once again is to FINISH! As someone who Jan 1 was just sitting on the couch, I needed the reminder to enjoy the process and that this is for ME! Thank you! You are amazing- truly!
Carin says
I feel you on this, Heather. I too was so used to being good (and over-competitive) at everything that I quit doing anything at all, especially with other people.
Glad you finally got that perspective shift. Good luck to ya.
Carolina John says
The bottom is a pretty good place to start. Especially if you are already used to running fast.
Rachel McPhillips says
Yep. If you start at the bottom, the only way to go is up! 🙂 You are an awesome athlete, so I have no doubts that you will rock your goals!
Michelle says
I can’t wait to see your pictures! Sounds like a great time! You give me more inspiration to get ready for my Tough Mudder later this year! You rock!
I also identify with you on not wanting to do something if you can’t be really good at it. That’s been my relationship with running until recently. I run with my husband and he’s a much better runner than I am and I have to really watch myself to make sure I don’t put myself down for not being as good. I used to refuse to run; but I’m starting to now. Hopefully we can start to shut down our perfectionist selves.
Heather says
Literally like a fire huh? That is pretty funny.
It’s a good thing you came to this realization about your competitiveness. I hate for that to make you miss something fun.
(I don’t do group rides for the same reason. I have no problem riding my speed alone, but I am afraid the group will leave me lost and alone and without a cookie.)
Kelly says
Love it!! You will be so ready!! Can’t wait to get there!! BTW, Rev3 usually has an honorary last finisher that volunteers for that spot, so you wouldn’t even be last! 😉
Jennifer says
You are awesome! If anyone can do it that person is you.
Ironmom (Julie) says
Hey, that’s the beauty of entering a half or full ironman. JUST FINISHING is a win. I did it on Sunday (16:34:07) and so can you! (For a training plan, try trifuel.com.)
Meaghan says
This post really hit home with me. I’ve been lurking in here for awhile, and I just want to say thank you for this.
Katie Schmidt says
Great post! You inspired me to write a post about my life on the other end of the spectrum. I never win so I don’t mind sucking! Go for the tri! They are so fun even when you don’t win!