Spartan State of Mind

I know you are all anxiously awaiting the Super Spartan Race report. But an epic race like that deserves an epic post, and I can not do it justice without pictures. So while I am still gathering them, you have to wait (sorry!)   But know that it was AWESOME, I would do it again without second thought, and other than a really sore quad , and bruises & scratches covering more than half of my body, I survived unscathed !


back of the medal, AROO!

 The Spartan race made me realize something about myself. Something others have been pointing out for a while, and something I knew deep down inside, may have hinted at a few times,  but I guess I didn’t want to full out admit. My running, and specifically triathlon, suffers because I’m entirely too competitive with myself. I *expect* myself to be GOOD at whatever I do. Therefore, if something is a challenge, something I might not conquer, I shy away. Hence the reason I don’t want to go to the group rides or swims…because I fear not being able to keep up and that embarrasses me (and makes me a huge hypocrite since I tell others to never worry about that).  Heck, hence the reason my beautiful Kestrel is collecting dust in the corner and I couldn’t even tell you where my swim goggles are.

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a fellow tri-mom on my face book wall about how I really just don’t think I like cycling. It’s not for me. Later that night, I got a long message from a very well meaning friend who basically told me , in nicer terms, that I need to get over my “must-do-everything-now” mindset and realize everyone has to start from the bottom. Most people don’t enter the world of triathlon saying “Hey, I’m new here, let’s do a 140.6” I don’t HAVE to get out there and keep up with the 22+ mph group.  And quite frankly, it’s pretty stupid of me to believe I’m above starting at the bottom.  Basically, buck up and get out there.  (Thank you Bob!)

What does this have to do with the Spartan race? Everything. Hope and I, well, we really didn’t *train* per-se for this race, haha. I mean, I had been doing Insanity (thank GOODNESS, because I wound up doing 80 burpees over the 8 mile course) but other than a few runs here and there, no training. So we toed that start line with ONE goal: Finish. And finishing was not optional, we WILL do it. So we ran when we ran, jogged when we jogged, walked when we walked (like through the rivers ) and caught our breath after obstacles, even chatting with the volunteers. Whatever, we were there for fun. It took us 2 hours and 33 minutes to finish that 8 mile course.  We certainly didn’t come in last, but we didn’t come in even close to first either.

And for ONCE…I didn’t care. At ALL. That competitive voice in my head never once reared her ugly head. OK maaayyybe a few times when we were coming up on someone in front of us on the trail, I would speed up to pass them, haha.  But for the most part, it was all about fun and finishing.   Could I have gone closer to 2 hours? Of course.  Would I have enjoyed it as much? NOPE!  (to give you an idea, the winner of the race was just over 1 hour, the female winner was 1:33) But out there without a Garmin, clocks, or mile markers, I was free. I forgot how much I love to run. Especially trails. Mountain Goats must be really happy creatures. I forgot how much FUN I have when I run for *me* and not for finishing times I think people (my crazy competitive self included) will think are *decent*.
 

So what I need to do is take this mindset and carry it on over to training for my very first 70.3 , Revolution3, here in South Carolina, October 9th.   Yes, I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that has caused me to put off training. But more than anything, I admit here and now, I’ve put off training because I AM SCARED.  Scared that I’m going to suck at riding. Swimming. Putting it all together. Yeah yeah, crazy I know.    But there is a REASON I dream of finishing a 140.6.  And that reason is my own, not for anyone else. So why am I letting my fear of what others think of my training and performance get in the way of that dream?
 
WHO CARES if I’m the last one out of the water, or the slowest one on the bike.  You know I’ll pass some people on the run, haha.  But quite honestly, why take on such a challenge if I’m doing it for anyone but myself, and even more so, why take on such a challenge if I’m not going to have fun?

Bottom line is, I will be MORE upset with myself for passing up this opportunity than I will be with myself if I’m the very LAST person to cross the finish line.  I am registered for the Half Rev and I WILL finish it.

Perhaps the flames were a little high when I jumped that first fire pit (uphill no less) at the Spartan Race, because it seems to have finally lit the fire under my butt that I needed.  104 days.  15 weeks.  Quit saying, start DOING.  I’ve got this.

Now, where are my goggles?  And who has a 15 week training plan?