10 Reasons to Marry a Runner (From a Fellow Runner’s Point of View)

Last Updated on February 14, 2019 by Heather Hart, ACSM EP, CSCS

I have no earthly idea why I’ve been so damn introspective lately.  Is this what happens at age 35?  Am I having a midlife crisis already? (Hopefully not, I was banking on my 70’s being the time I finally fall into the appropriate age group/speed ration to qualify for the Boston Marathon.)  While I continue to contemplate my purpose here on earth, I feel the need to take a little time off from writing about the serious stuff and instead share the following post with you: ten reasons why it’s awesome to be married to a fellow runner.

1. A post apocalyptic worthy number of calories reside in our “nutrition” cabinet.   That’s right, that entire closet in our kitchen that most people use for dry good and food storage?  Ours solely houses water bottles, supplements, and race nutrition.  I’d have to guess there is somewhere near 50,000 non perishable calories in there at any given time in that closet.  It makes hurricane prep much easier.  Waiting in line for bread and milk? No thank you, I’ve got Tailwind and Stroopwafle.

2. Everyone smells bad.  And is covered in dirt.  And grossly sweaty. And probably really tired and hungry. It’s not just you.

3.  An unspoken understanding that most furniture is overrated, and the kitchen would be much better utilized for storing mountain bikes, rather than a rarely used kitchen table.  Alright, that’s our extreme case, but you could also insert “treadmill in the living room” or “elliptical in the office” and get the same results.  Further, an entire hallway lined with finishers medals, and race day pint glasses on an end table are more than acceptable as modern day décor.

4.  Never having to apologize for 4:30 am alarm clocks on a Saturday morning.  Or spending money on another race entry fee.  Or the fact that you spend so much of your “free” time training, or talking about training.  Or plastering your car with “26.2” and other race related stickers. Basically, you never have to apologize for all of the obnoxious things runners do, because you married one.

5.  You always have someone waiting for you at the finish line.  Unless you are both racing and you run faster than your spouse.  But the good news is, they’ll be at the finish line eventually.

Even better, they cross the finish line with you, whether it be 20 minutes or 37 hours.

6. Similar wardrobe issues.  I always know a “full time runner” by the fact that they have a seemingly endless supply of workout gear, but only own the same 3 formal/semi formal outfits.  Personally, I joke with my friends that they are only allowed to invite me to two events per year where I need to dress up, because I only own two sundresses.  It could be potentially awkward…except my husband has the same exact wardrobe issues.  This is half the reason we got married ON the trail…why spend money on something we’ll never wear again, when you can instead wear an awesome running skirt?

7.  You never need to justify your sneaker collection.  Trying to explain to a non runner the need for various sneakers for various types of runs can be exhausting.  “But that’s my tempo run shoe.  And that pair is for long runs over 13 miles but less than 20!” etc.  In our house, my husband only hounds me about the number of sneakers I have when he is jealous that I have a brand/model he doesn’t.

8. Blisters. Missing toe nails. Permanent sports bra tan lines.  Peeing in the bushes.  Snot rockets. A hydration bladder that smells like death.  Runners can be gross.  At least you can be gross together.

9.  Your running spouse will never say “you’re almost there!” when you are, in fact, not almost there.  They’ll also never downplay the disappointment you might feel by missing a PR by 5 seconds.  Or tell you to suck it up when you have to miss a week of training due to a nagging injury.   Fellow runners understand these things better than a non runner ever could.

10.  Endless support. Yeah, you know I had to get cheesy here.  I am absolutely, 100% certain that there are super supportive non-running spouses.  But there is something so incredible about being able to share your passion with your very best friend,  to have them completely understand the highs and the lows, and to be by your side for every single step.

Happy Anniversary, Geoffrey.  Thanks for being the best, gross, tired, smelly partner a runner girl could ever ask for!